


A Million Ways To Feel

by killingmonsterswritingthings



Series: 10 Days of LawLu 2017 [6]
Category: One Piece
Genre: 10 days of LawLu, Discussion of Ways to Kill Someone, Feelings, Gen, Hearts, M/M, Medical, Medical Inaccuracies, Mental Health Issues, injuries, probably lmao i did my best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 04:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11074158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killingmonsterswritingthings/pseuds/killingmonsterswritingthings
Summary: Luffy gets injured and in an attempt at getting him to rest, Law explains to him all the ways in which he could have died.





	A Million Ways To Feel

**Author's Note:**

> written for the 6th prompt of 10 days of lawlu, June 2 - H is for... **Heart**
> 
> i was gonna say "this is less dark than the summary suggests" and i mean... it is... but also i describe like 3 different ways to kill someone (and i _did_ do research but pls forgive any medical inaccuracies) and then there's a bit about mental health  & past suicidal ideation but it's rather tame
> 
> that said i always have a lot of fun writing law actually doing his job as a doctor. it's what i started out doing (writing him, i mean) and it feels very authentic.

 

 

Luffy was bleeding profusely. Good that he knew not only one, but _two_ doctors – or so he said when Nami dragged him into the operating room on the Polar Tang.

Law was neither impressed with nor happy about the situation.

The cut was on Luffy’s chest – not low or deep enough to have hit his heart or aorta, but bleeding badly enough to have completely stained his blue shirt and Nami’s hands on the way.

“One day,” he said while he gently pushed Luffy – who was by now feeling light headed and “very funny”, according to him – onto the operating table, “one of you is going to need a new heart and then what am I going to do? Just steal one.”

“You could,” Luffy slurred. “You’re good at that.”

Zoro – who had come in to supervise in Nami’s place, who wanted to get all the blood off her hands –  snorted behind them and Law shot him a dirty look. “Help or get out!”

Zoro stepped closer, obviously both ready to help and deliver more comments. “Didn’t you give a bunch of hearts to the government to become a Warlord?”

“That’s a rumor,” Law scoffed, his hand raised to create a room.

“’S the truth,” Luffy said.

“Jeez, do you think I’m that ruthless?” Law assessed the damage. The cut was deep, but clean, and hadn’t hit the subclavian artery either, and if he sutured it properly it would heal quickly – given that Luffy didn’t move too much and rip it open again. “I didn’t give them _a hundred_ hearts, I just collected some from a couple pirates I came across who were particularly rude, and the rest was from cows – which they never found out about. And they were all alive. When I sent them, Sengoku still had enough pull to ensure that none of them got killed, and I didn’t tell them who they belonged to anyway.”

“Still, that’s hardcore.”

“I’m not above ripping the hearts out of chests of people who deserve it,” Law said, cleaning the wound with practiced motions, “but I’m definitely not sending them to the government. Fuck them.”

“I’d totally have thought you would do that, if I’m honest,” Zoro said and Law was about to roll his eyes again, when Luffy said: “Not me.”

“You overestimate my moral compass,” he said gently. He knew the sedative had to be kicking in by now so he wasn’t going to take anything Luffy said for granted.

There had been a time in his life when he would have ripped the hearts from everyone who stood in his way. He wasn’t as angry anymore, but he had no qualms to tamper with organs either. He chose his subjects carefully, sure, but it wasn’t ethical – his parents would have hated it.

Maybe they even would have hated him, he mused, as he carefully stitched Luffy’s skin back together.

 

 

 

Luffy recovered slowly. Keeping him in bed was a struggle, so of course he tore his stitches open on the very first day. Which in turn led to Law putting him on bed rest until the wound started mending.

There was a lot of whining.

 

“I’m so bored,” Luffy complained, loudly.

Law sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He had half a mind to just let Luffy run around again and let Chopper deal with it, but he knew it wasn’t right – it was just his annoyance. So he sighed and sat down on the bed next to Luffy, making the mattress dip a little. Luffy scooted sideward to make room for him almost automatically and that was incentive enough for Law to kick off his boots and pull his legs up onto the bed, too.

“I know,” he said. “But you really have to take better care of yourself.”

He ran a hand up Luffy’s arm, marred with scars – he didn’t even want to look at the old one on his torso, its upper edge disappearing under the bandages for the new wound. Getting hurt was part of the life of a pirate, Law was all-too aware, and he had fought time and time again to make his crew take enough time off to let their wounds heal. He wasn’t going to stop with Luffy now.

“I always either sleep for a few days after a big fight, or the wounds aren’t bad enough to need much recovery time,” Luffy said.

“You’re an idiot,” Law said but he smiled. “And I’m surprised you’re still alive.”

“Pure luck,” Luffy said, very seriously and now Law had to laugh.

“See, you’re even self-aware.”

Luffy shrugged half-heartedly. “It’s worked out so far. I’m tough.”

“And you heal quickly,” Law said. “But that doesn’t guarantee it’s going to work forever.”

The unspoken _I don’t want to lose you_ hung heavy in the air. Law had lost too many people to be able to say it out loud, though. Because he felt like that would jinx it, like he would doom Luffy to the same fate that had befallen his parents, and his sister, and Cora-san.

“Hmm,” Luffy made and then fell quiet. Uncharacteristically quiet.

Law had to stop looking at him after the silence had stretched on for more than a dozen seconds and fiddled with a loose thread on his shirt instead.

As much as he was in favor of Luffy thinking about things for more than a second for once, he wasn’t a fan of uncomfortable silences. He liked knowing what was going on in Luffy’s mind – at least vaguely, because sometimes Luffy made no sense even to those closest to him – and it was proving hard right now.

Finally, Luffy broke the silence: “But _could_ it have been my heart?” He was still speaking softer than he usually did, obviously aware of Law’s discomfort.

“So you do remember what we said,” Law said.

Luffy shrugged. “I’m used to pain. I was probably more aware of what was being said than you thought.”

Law grimaced. “It could have been,” he said, answering Luffy’s original question, “but only if you had been stabbed right here.” He put his finger on the spot between Luffy’s fifth and sixth ribs. “And only from the side, otherwise they would’ve had to go through your left lung.”

“Huh,” Luffy made, sounding a little breathless.

“Or,” Law continued, “they would have had to shatter your ribs, which a lot of people are strong enough to do around here, but that would have been harder than with other humans because of your rubber body. Or of course if their blade had been sharp enough to just cut through your ribs…”

“Okay, okay, stop!”

Law pulled his hand away and looked at Luffy apologetically. “Did I freak you out?” To him it was cathartic to talk about all the ways Luffy could have died – and didn’t – but he realized that he had gotten lost in the feeling.

“A little? It’s kinda cool too, I guess, but you really know a lot of ways to kill someone.”

Now it was Law’s turn to shrug. “I’m a doctor. It’s my job to know _all_ the ways to kill someone – and how to treat them.”

“Okay, what’s the easiest way to kill me then?” Luffy asked.

Law laughed a little. “Probably if they’d cut your jugular vein here,” he put his finger on the juncture of Luffy’s neck, feeling his pulse speed up. “Or the external carotid artery – it’s close to there, too. You’d bleed out so quickly not even I could help you if I wasn’t with you.”

Luffy reached up and pulled Law’s hand away from his neck. “I just won’t get cut here,” he said decisively. Law wished it was that easy.

“Do you understand now why you need to be more careful?” he asked instead.

Luffy nodded. He was tracing the tattoos on the back of Law’s hand that was now resting on his leg.

“I can’t promise to stay out of trouble, but I can at least try to heal up properly.”

Law sighed. “Guess that’s the most I can ask for.”

They lapsed back into silence, both looking down at Law’s hand where Luffy had now taken to running his fingers over the letters on Law’s fingers. D E A T H.

The quiet didn’t last as long this time, barely a few seconds, before Luffy spoke again.

“Can you show me the heart thing?” he asked.

Law frowned and his hand twitched with the impulse to pull it away. “Why?”

“Because it always looked so cool,” Luffy said. Law sighed.

“It’s an extremely delicate thing,” he said. “It’s not something I do for amusement. I’ve always only used it for two things: tactics, and actual treatments.”

Luffy scoffed. “You’re telling me switching out our hearts and personalities was a hundred percent tactics?”

“…yes,” Law said and squinted. Maybe not a hundred percent, but a very solid ninety.

Luffy, seeing right through him, grinned. “Are you _sure_?”

“It was mostly tactics, anyway.” Law rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t just do it to you guys here on the ship now, just for fun. I think that’s what counts here.”

“If you say so,” Luffy said and laughed, but he sobered quickly. “But I really wanna see you do it. I’m curious. I’ve never seen a human heart.”

Law hesitated. If it was for educational purposes – at least kind of – it was alright, too. (And Luffy did seem genuinely curious, not just because he was bored, but because he was interested.) And if it served to keep Luffy in bed and resting a little longer, even better.

“Fine,” he said finally. “But I’m not showing you your own heart. I don’t think your wound is stable enough.” And without much more preamble he pulled his hand out from under Luffy’s, summoned a room and removed his own heart, cased in a protective bubble.

He had done this countless times before, to test and practice the technique, because he didn’t want to subject too many animals to it and certainly not his crew, but it was still a weird feeling to have his own beating heart in his hand.

“Wow,” Luffy made. “That’s awesome.”

Law slowly offered the heart to Luffy, who had sat up straighter to look at it.

“Can I touch it?” he asked.

Law shrugged. “Sure, just don’t squeeze it or anything.” Luffy grinned mischievously as he took the heart from it – much more carefully than his expression would suggest. “I swear, I’ll cut your head off _and_ switch your heart with a turtle’s.”

“You can’t tell me that wouldn’t be cool.”

“I’m pretty sure both of you would die after about a week,” Law said drily.

“Have you tried?”, Luffy asked. He was inspecting Law’s heart closely now and Law wondered if he could also focus on the conversation they were having.

“I’ve tried switching different animals, yes,” Law said. “They usually couldn’t stay alive for very long. Humans and animals are okay, but the human body would need to be monitored because the animal has no idea what to do with it.”

“Hm, okay,” Luffy mumbled. “Makes sense.” He slightly poked Law’s heart and Law flinched.

“Ouch.” He slapped Luffy’s hand. “What did I tell you!”

Law looked up at him with big eyes. “Sorry! I didn’t think you’d feel that.”

“You literally just poked one of my most important organs, of course I’m going to feel it somehow,” Law said.

“Sorry,” Luffy said. Then: “It’s smaller than I expected.”

“You’ve seen me extract hearts before…”

“Yes, but not up close.”

“Fair,” Law said and looked at the heart himself now. “It is pretty small for such an important thing.”

“Is the brain just as small or is it bigger?” Luffy asked.

Law almost had to laugh, but he successfully held back – it _was_ a valid question after all. “It’s bigger,” he said. “But not much. A few centimeters at most. The lungs are much bigger.” He spread his fingers out over the right side of his chest to indicate where his right lung was – he didn’t want to demonstrate on Luffy’s body, since he had just changed the bandages a while ago. “But I’m not taking either of those organs out.”

“Yeah, you need the brain to think,” Luffy said, very seriously. Law almost had to laugh. He needed his heart to survive, too, but it was alright out of his body by virtue of his Devil Fruit. But he didn’t correct Luffy.

Instead he watched him inspect Law’s heart, his eyes bright with wonder.

“It’s so delicate,” he said, holding it in his hand much gentler than before, only letting it rest on his flat palm. He was watching it beat. “Such a small thing, keeping all of you alive. And there’s a lot of you.”

Now Law did have to laugh. “Yours is doing the same job.”

“Yes, but I can’t see it,” Luffy said. “I can see yours now.”

Law took a deep, surprised breath and his heartbeat sped up a little, clearly visible in Luffy’s hand.

“Did you know there’s a legend of a pirate captain who locked his heart away in a chest, because he fell in love and subsequently got his heart broken?” Law asked.

“What?” Luffy gaped at him. “That’s insane.”

“And pretty much impossible, considering I’m the only one who’s ever had this power – as far as I know,” Law said. He did wonder often however if anyone had ever had it before him – Devil Fruits grew again. Was he just one in a long line of successors with the power of the Ope Ope no Mi? “It’s probably just a myth.”

“Why would anyone lock their heart away?” Luffy asked.

“He didn’t want to feel,” Law said and shrugged.

Luffy frowned. “Can you do that? Take someone’s feelings away by taking their heart?”

Law shook his head. “No, that’s not how it works. You _are_ your heart, and your soul, and your feelings, no matter where it is.”

He stared at the heart in Luffy’s palm and thought about how often he had wished he didn’t have to feel, and about the times he hadn’t been able to feel – but not because he had removed his heart, but because his depression had overtaken him so viciously that he had come out the other end of feeling too much with nothing left to feel.

“I’m glad we have feelings,” Luffy said and Law tore his eyes away from his heart to look at Luffy’s face. “It’s hard, sometimes, but it makes us who we are, right? What would you be without your grumpiness, and your enthusiasm about medicine, and your love of soft things?” He handed the heart back to Law.

“Not me, that’s for sure,” Law mumbled. He hesitated, then said what he was thinking anyway: “It can be very hard. But I think… I think it’s worth it.”

Because with all the bad came just as much good. If Law had given in to his yearning not to feel – if he hadn’t been fueled by spite and revenge all these years – he would have never developed his deep friendship with Bepo, or met Luffy, or been able to talk to Sengoku about Corazón, or been able to experience what it felt like to have a beating human heart in your hands.

Law slotted his heart back into his chest, where it belonged.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> title from all time low's [nightmares](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YQ3ibJc3o4) because i'm a predictable parody of myself
> 
> come visit me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/luffylaws) and [tumblr](https://leiathelight.tumblr.com), or leave me a comment!


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